You know those days when you just want to pull up the covers on the bed and go back to sleep and hope that someone else just makes everything happen for you?
You have those right?
You have moments when you just wish your husband/wife, parents, business partner, customers or kids would just come and RESCUE you from this ‘hard’ and make it all just EASY…don’t you?
I know I do.
Or, did until I recognised it was holding me back from living my real truth.
I realised recently, whilst working through some personal and money blocks that I had spent a good deal of my life waiting for a Knight in Shining Armour to rescue me…from debt, from business flops, from hard decision making, from cashflow hell, from resistance and avoidance of food and exercise…at one point or another I had wished for a Knight in Shining Armour to come and rescue me from just about everything!
I have had daydreams about my husband striking it rich and me never having to work this hard again because we were rolling in money and could just travel and do what we liked.
I have had visions of an amazing business investor finding me – (miraculously, in Lightning Ridge) and saying to me: WOW you have such amazing ideas…let me just build you this awesome business and you will be RICH without having to do the work.
I have believed that a windfall from an inheritance would solve all the problems and leave me cashed up and free from ever having to make hard decisions again.
And you know what – it hasn’t happened.
That’s not to say that good things haven’t happened to me – and there have been perfectly timed moments when a knight has arrived…but on the scale that I have wished for on occasion…it just hasn’t happened.
So what did I do in those moments?
I stepped up and did what needed to be done myself.
YES. I rescued myself.
I rescued myself.
I became my own knight in shining armour in those moments.
The challenge is…to become the Knight in Shining Armour for yourself as a default – rather than…what it has been for me, which goes a little something like this:
‘I need rescuing, O’ wow is me, I need rescuing, where O where are you my knight in shining armour’
‘ O poor me’
‘O where are you?’
‘O woe is me, my knight in shining armour has not come and rescued me. I feel sad and dejected and defeated.
‘But nothing has changed so I better just get on a do something about the thing I need rescuing from’.
‘O woe is me!’
3 Steps to Building a Knight in Shining Armour Default
1. Value and LOVE your skills
We have been raised in a ‘tall poppy’ environment where it is seen as a very bad and egotistical thing to ‘praise’ yourself – or talk yourself up (remember those kids in the school playground who used to say – gees you are ‘on yourself’ or you ‘love yourself’ or you are ‘up yourself’)..yeah. It’s shit. Because, honestly, if YOU don’t value yourself – who the heck will!
So, the first thing to do is take a clean sheet of nice bright paper or card and write at the top of it a heading that says:
I am AWESOME at and LOVE doing….
and start writing – dot points, freeflow, sentences, statements – whatever makes you happy, that you know you are really, really good at and explain the things you love to do.
Then get it up somewhere you have to look at it EVERY DAY!
Get another piece of paper (this is important that you WRITE it, not just type it into the computer) and draw a line down the middle of the paper vertically so you have two coluns. One one side (left column) write NEGATIVE and then list all the things you don’t like about yourself – from the stuff you see on the outside to the inside objections.
Be brutal and truthful and get it all out.
NOW write the exact OPPOSITE on the right hand side column.
For every thing you wrote that you didn’t like – write it’s awesome goodness on the opposite side of the paper eg.
Negative – I don’t like the colour of my hair
Positive – My hair colour is bright, gorgeous and glossy
Negative – I am bossy
Positive – I am an outstanding organiser and planner and am really good at organising and delegating tasks
Your next task is to cut the page in half and burn, throw out or, in some other wonderful ritualistic act, get rid of the NEGATIVES so all you are left with is the positives and put THEM somewhere you can read and see them DAILY!
Identify ALL the qualities you are looking for in your Knight in Shining Armour – bravery, valour, specific skill set…etc. What are you actually wanting HELP with when you default to wishing someone would rescue you? What don’t you have in your life right now that’s missing?
Get it all down. Think about the moments when you have wished for the rescue. What did you want then?
What was it? Money? Fame? Skills? Action?
Now, write down what you can DO to take action to get yourself these skills or outsource them so that YOU become your own Knight in Shining Armour!
Set your intention.
Then DO IT!
Some examples I can give you of what action I have taken in my life have been:
- investing in mentors so I could have people to ‘bounce’ ideas off who were going to give me constructive and useful feedback
- investing in healers to help with the areas of my life that needed work (eg EFT, Colonic Irrigation, Kinesiology)
- outsource to people with skills far better than mine in particular areas (eg video cutting/editing, website redesign)
- develop solid cash flow strategies to avoid peaks and troughs with money
- have a list of several ideas to implement immediately when cash flow is tight – for immediate revenue
You don’t have to wait for someone to help you in your life – YOU are the only person who can make it happen. Nurture yourself.
Look after yourself. Identify your strengths and celebrate them – look out for the areas you need support with and get them….become your own Knight in Shining Armour!
Lots of love,
ps – this isn’t EASY…but it’s worth going with the process and sticking to it…do it over and over again until you reframe your default!