The words you need to hear

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Be kind to yourself.

My friend said to me recently, mid conversation…”Hang on Rebel, If you were as hard on someone else as you are on yourself – you would be in jail.”

It felt like she had kicked me in the guts…but she was right.

The words that were coming out of my mouth were self deprecating, negative, hurtful and really disrespectful and I would NEVER be that critical or harmful to or about anyone, ever…so why do I give myself permission to do it to myself?

More importantly – why do you?

Why is it that we all allow the negative self talk to win?

Why do we doubt and question our every move?

Why do we allow the bad to overawe the good?

And why the fuck do we let the hurtful talk leave our headspasce and enter the world around us…why do we verbalise this shit? It makes it real!

Remember that your thoughts become your words and your words become your actions…

Why do we do it? Because it is how we are programmed. Fear and doubt and negative head talk are part of the human condition – so you can stop beating yourself up for being the only loser on the planet with a voice in their heads…you are just normal!

BUT guess what…it doesn’t have to be that way!

I know, exciting right.

BUT… don’t be deceived – a miraculous change from negative headspace and toilet talk isn’t going to happen over night and it IS going to take discipline, deliberate actions and hard work (much like ANYTHING worth having in this life!).

I know…the truth is that nothing is easy and if we just get over that fact, we can all move on and really make things happen!

Anyway, what my friends words did for me was help me see that I had allowed the negative shit in my head to infiltrate my conversation and that, spells, disaster!

So…I hatched a plan to change it and wanted to share with you – in case you can relate!

Here is what I did/am doing:

1. I bought a really pretty book and I started writing positive affirmations in it – all the things I LIKE/LOVE about myself, that I am good at, that I enjoy, that bring me pleasure, that I excel at etc….

2. I made a deliberate decision to write in or read it at least once a day – with an open mind and a willingness to not only read the words, but believe them!

3. I make a conscious decision to catch myself when I am thinking negatively and switch it up

4. As above when I begin so SPEAK negatively…

5. I am working on changing my TERRIBLE habit of berating myself (you know when you do something irritating, instead of calling myself bad names and being irritated…I let it go and forgive myself my clumsiness)…

6. I am seeing the world through a new positive lens

7. I am being KIND TO MYSELF

This may not come naturally to you – and it might feel awkward and cumbersome, but believe me, it is worth the discomfort, to live a more positive and self nurturing life is more brilliant than the opposite.

So here is my mantra – what is yours?

I am the channel of truth

My light shines for all to see

I will push through the pain

I will do what must be done

I will fear no person, no theory, no hurdle

I will not fear, fear itself

Because it is my destiny

My dream

My truth

My reason for being

I am Aphrodite Blue Eyes

Rebel Black, Traditional WIsdom Warrior

I was put on this planet to make a difference

To lead

and learn

and love

and heal

I will speak for those with no voice

I will hear them and know them

and they will see and know it can be different

and they will know my life

so they can love themselves


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  • rebelsblack

    GREAT thoughts Gavin, thank you for sharing! It is important to remind ourselves to dream…and then take action on our dreams!