I feel a bit like I have been on a rollercoaster ride for the past 12 months – a self inflicted, brain chaos, resisting the pull, fighting everything everyone was telling me, necessary but sometimes painful, rollercoaster.
I can’t really explain why I have done what I have done – other than to say that sometimes I think the resistant 6 year old inside me appears…this time she appeared for a year; and then she finally embraces the truth.
And what was that truth?
That truth is that I am a rural woman who wants to work with other rural woman and that I have a gift that I am desperate to share.
The truth is that I am TIRED of playing small and I am REALLY tired of sabotaging myself, playing victim within, ignoring my own strength and power and fighting the urge to make a massive difference.
The truth is that I knew this and I ignored it!
And then there was something else…
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to write my name in my non-dominant hand, which of course always switches the brain patterning and the outcome looks like a 6 year old child’s writing – and then your brain regresses a little. I have done this exercise before – once very powerfully, when I wrote a letter to my Dad using my non-dominant hand…it was amazing that the voice that surfaced (even down to the simplicity of the language used) was that of my 6 year old self.
Once I had written my name during this exercise I was then asked to write down ‘what I wanted to be’.
Most other people wrote jobs titles, but I wanted to be FAMOUS.
It felt real – and I remembered that glowing feeling of watching Young Talent Time on TV and feeling one day I too would be famous like those kids (yes, I am a child of the 80s!).
But it also felt ICKY.
Because I have built belief systems that it’s HARD to be famous; that you aren’t really going to ‘make it’ if you are famous, and that you should do something ‘sensible’ with your life not wish to be famous. I also believed that famous people are posers and wealthy and wealthy people are BAD…and it’s bad to be bad, so you should avoid doing all the things that bad people do.
Including being famous AND being wealthy.
It is exhausting living in my head sometimes…BUT…on the other side of these realisations is the MAGIC!
I now know EXACTLY what I want and how I am going to get it!
I started this week feeling overwhelmed and annoyed with myself for sabotaging myself once again – in a big way – I have ended this week with a brand new plan; action already taken and energy like the 6 year old child I once was!
This was HARD work and the mirror and the soccer punch blows I took to get to this place felt bad. But I leaned into the fear and went were I didn’t really want to go.
I know there is still more to learn – but what I know deep in my heart is that TODAY is the best day of my life – every TODAY is the best day of my life and I am going to LIVE MY TRUTH.
I will be famous.
I will be wealthy.
I will make a massive difference.
I will help 100s of thousands of rural women make a difference in their communities and live their truths.
I will play BIG!
What’s your truth that you are ignoring and roller costering yourself around?
What work do you need to do in order to find it if it’s lurking and you are ignoring it?
My advise? Throw EVERYTHING at it!
In the past 6 months I have been investing in work with many therapies and support mechanisms to enable my growth and this unlocking process. I have been using colonic irrigation, EFT, Kinesiology, affirmations, business mentors and advisers, clearing techniques, dream logging, daily gratitude and LOTS of different books that say to do different things.
I have been doing EVERYTHING I possibly can to get through these self imposed barriers.
Do I stop now?
HELL NO…I RAMP IT UP!
It’s working and the universe is shifting with me…I am so pumped it’s not funny!
What can you do TODAY that makes it your best day ever?
What support mechanisms can you put in place to make your dream life real?
How can you ask your six year old self what you wanted to ‘be’ when you grew up – and more importantly how can you get what you really wanted?
It’s yours for the taking!
Isn’t it freaking exciting?