When I was a child I used to love to read the Berenstain Bears, a fun, adventurous children’s series that saw the overly enthusiastic Papa bear enter into all kinds of dangerous scenarios that the very wise Mama bear didn’t approve of but had the eager onlooking youngens intrigued and delighted – and very often, in danger – to which Papa would exclaim – “do as I say.. not as I do”
…Papa Bear’s words became a bit of a saying in our household…with a laugh.. but also… not…
It’s a tough gig parenting…as parents we want our kids to do what we tell them to do, for all the reasons…. and there are some things we do that we want them to copy or mimic (like do work they love or be kind) or other things that we don’t want them to copy that we do (like drinking alcohol or lying) but so often we tell them NOT to do it (or to do it).. all while doing (or not doing) the very thing we are saying they shouldn’t…
Cue Papa Bear…
“do as I say.. Not as I do.”
But this is very confusing for the conscious mind, especially before we turn 7 when our brain is in the theta state and is basically taking in EVERYTHING through the senses and wiring neurons..
And ultimately – it’s not possible for us to ‘do as I say and not as I do’…
Because while all that incongruence is happening for our children (seeing and experiencing one thing and being told another) their very open and ready to receive brains and biology are being CODED with beliefs and thoughts and the energy of what they SEE, FEEL and experience in its totality (ALL of their senses play a role).
Their environment is programming them and as a parent you are included in that environment… so… what you say.. in a large part, is only having a very small impact on the ultimate outcomes for them as children and as they grow up into adults.
What you DO is what they are watching/experiencing/sensing and ultimately being coded with to become, what they will do too… even without realising it.
And much of the research today suggests that this is even happening BEFORE babies are born – through the chemical signals from the mother which are being influenced by her environment.
Hence.. The reason for my musings and wonderings today….
I have re-coded a LOT of patterns in myself and too many to count in the hundreds of clients I’ve worked with since 2014… and it’s meant that I broke free of more than a decade of debilitating pain, false financial ceilings, ways of doing business, relationships struggles, anxiety and depression to claim a life that I love, working with extraordinary people to help them live great lives, to do so from where I choose to be, creating enormous value in my community and further afield and generating legacy worthy projects!
But.. at the moment.. I’m right up against a MASSIVE pattern that was coded within me as a child and keeps repeating on loop… and no amount of yelling, telling or convincing or trying to change behaviour has worked to this point – I’ve tried all the tactical things to change it… but the recent profound gut punch realization is that I have been living the coded pattern of a business I was exposed to as a child and have adopted within the structure of my current (and all past) business…and, despite it being a pattern that causes me stress – it is so hard wired that it FEELS NORMAL to me… and it keeps me firmly grounded in STRUGGLE that neurologically speaking, I am ADDICTED to.
Dr Joe Dispenza is an incredible teacher in this space, declaring himself a bridge between science and spirituality and in a seminar in 2019 (HERE) he describes how we can become ‘addicted to the life we don’t even like’…simply because of a series of feedback loops our body uses to keep us ‘safe’… in the familiar pattern of who we are (identity) MOST of which is happening without our awareness.
What is even more baffling (and fascinating) to me because the things that I do or, in this case, don’t do are the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I teach, train, consult on and deliver for my clients…. And yet in MY life and business I continue to not take my own advice..
PAPA BEAR… you messed with me here!
Don’t copy me. He said… I’m not doing it right. He said.
Instead …do what I tell you to do and it will be all okay.
But, old man, this is essentially the same as screaming at the tape player or computer hard drive to change what you see and expecting it will update?!
So what do we do..
We have to re-code a new pattern!
And what does that mean?
For me, I apply Forensic Healing, which is an energy healing modality that acts like a laser beam on the pattern and finds it at the root cause and then offers 110+ healing pathways.
But it’s not the whole picture..
I now have to remember that I’m now longer the person with that pattern and I have to decide who the NEW me is (minus the faulty pattern) and then work towards thinking/believing and behaving my way into being the NEW me!
Dr Joe gies an awesome description on how the brain learns HERE
It’s the thing I LOVE the most in the work I do with my clients, many of who are looking for NEW ways of being in their business including creating legacy through succession, exiting the business all together – but in a way that feels good or improving systems so they can extract themselves from the daily operations… the ultimate role I play as a human agronomist and metaphysical muse is to help them IDENTIFY the pattern that is currently limiting them from achieving what they want or keeping them stuck in a loop (like I was).. CLEAR the pattern once and for all and then set about creating the STRUCTURE of the NEW PATTERN…
It could be as simple as becoming the person who works less and spends more time with family or who moves into a whole new kind of business model which requires different ways of operating or who is separate from a business that has been their identity for decades.
This process works.
But it can create resistance and it can take time – and many of my most successful clients have worked with me for many YEARS because, as they achieve success (as they define it) in their life and business they realize the PATTERNS of their PAST continue to reappear.
Because, like all good structures – we don’t notice the limiting patterns until we try to BREAK them and we start to BREAK patterns when we want to (and try to) behave differently – like starting a new diet or exercise regime.. Your WILL to change can only take you so far before those deeply embedded and long ago programmed patterns draw you back and your life or business or relationship continue as they used to and you convince yourself that it’s just ‘normal’ and ‘the way it is’…
But it’s NOT..
And there is help – if you’d like it!
Book in a call with me and let’s see what pattern is holding you back and what you can do about it!