When it comes to being human, vulnerability provides us a portal to incredible depth in relationships but it requires us to open ourselves up to the possibility of pain and exposure that can threaten our requirement for safety and security.
And so… we avoid it.
And then… we avoid other things that we fear will lead us to vulnerability or exposure of any kind.
And that…becomes our identity.
Which means… we become disconnected from ourselves and there can be a loss of love which then impacts all aspects of life.
It’s a spiral that creates paralysis in decision making on all fronts because we are in avoidance of the deep change that may come from leaning in (as Cheryl Sanberg says).
When we are faced with challenging situations and decisions that we know we are avoiding (because we haven’t acted yet), whether we know why or not, we are being offered an invitation to embrace vulnerability.
So what is it exactly?
Here’s where I turn to the world expert on this subject – Dr Brene Brown who defines it as such:
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.
When the barrier is our belief about vulnerability, the question becomes:
‘Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can’t control the outcome?’
When the barrier to vulnerability is about safety, the question becomes:
‘Are we willing to create courageous spaces so we can be fully seen?”
— Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
The piece that strikes me most in this description is the fear of ‘BEING FULLY SEEN’..
Who would you show up as if you knew you could not fail?
Is it some other variation of the person you are now?
We fear exposure because there are parts of ourselves that we deny, hide, repress, berate and judge – the aspects we never want anyone else to see.
But what if those parts of you are your pathway to liberation and freedom?
What then?
Who then?
If you use avoidance as a tactic to keep yourself safe and it’s been a pattern in your life you’d like to clear – then my Energy Reading & Healing on avoidance could help and you can listen to it free HERE
Please also make the most of my free energy reading and healings on my youtube channel, book in a personalised energy reading and healing or join me for fortnightly session and an incredibly supportive group of women who are all agents for change in whyldwomen.com OR reach out hello@rebelblack.com to explore in what other ways I can support you! You can read more about other work I do at www.therwcollection.com
